I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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