come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
