Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Text me some of your sweat
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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