Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
