We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
