his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
