I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
