how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
