somebody snuck up and got me drunk
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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