But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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