I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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