Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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