Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
