I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
