How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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