That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
