and you said cock pushups were impossible
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
