Screwed.edu
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
