I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
