I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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