You're so nebulous sometimes
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
