My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
