Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
