I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Your penis caused this!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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