you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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