Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
