why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
not ubering you a puppy
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
