How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
