After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
