to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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