i can't believe i had my finger in that
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
