The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
