you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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