so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
No subtext here. People are naked.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
