the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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