I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
