He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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