who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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