I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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