I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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