I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
