bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
