Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
