So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
