if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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