you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
