all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
