I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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