wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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