You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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