Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
