Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
